"A girl was never ruined by books," my mother used to say. I've spent most of my life trying to prove that wrong.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Living with Sudden Riches: The List of My Desires and What Happens When We Get What We Want

One of the best selling books in recent years in France has been translated into English as The List of My Desires. In it a 47 year old very ordinary woman living in a small town wins about $30 million the first time she buys a ticket.  She keeps it a secret from everyone, even her husband, with some interesting but sad consequences.

One of the most amusing but scary scenes in the book is when Jocelyne picks up the cheque and is told what to beware of, now that she's rich.  The message is: sudden riches are usually not a good thing.

It's a book that my French book discussion groups found both a good read and an excellent starting point for discussions about what we really want.  In one of the English groups, a member had read it in translation and suggested it for next year's list (can't use it because at the moment there are not enough copies in the local library system.)

As for the truth about the nasty things that can follow winning big, today's New York Times contains a re-evalution of what happens.   "How to Win the Lottery (Happily)"  by John Tierney quotes some new studies which show that happiness may drop after a win when everyone you ever knew comes out of the woodwork, but can increase afterwards. People may "have to talk themselves into believing they deserved it," according to  Anna Hedenus, a sociologist at the University of Gothenburg, who did a study of 400 Swedish lottery winners.


Michael I. Norton, a social psychologist at Harvard Business School, adds keeping your win a secret  could help avoid bad consequences.  He says to tell  no one but your spouse; make no extravagant purchases or gifts at first, but slowly increase your spending and your giving so no one will suspect your newfound wealth.

Of course, in the novel, Joclyne's secrecy helps her not at all, and the NYT's story ends with a plea to secret winners to take part in a study of their experience. Tierney writes:
"We know you secret winners are out there. You have the power to disprove the curse of the lottery once and for all by writing me (or having your lawyer do it). We promise to protect your anonymity.  And we swear we won’t ask you to share the money.


The photo is a still from the French film which has its premiere this week, and for you who know French, here's the trailer. "




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